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Brickie scoops top prize in Tax Return of the Year Award
There was a surprise winner of the Tax Return of the Year Award, in a glamorous ceremony at Claridges Hotel, London, with builder Tim Nolan scooping the top honour.
Mr. Nolan, a brickie, submitted detailed evidence, including numerous receipts and quotations for jobs which added on the appropriate level of VAT.
After receiving his trophy and GBP10,000 in cash he said, "People don't like paying taxes, but it is only because they don't look at the bigger picture. Through the money we pay, sick people get better and kids get to learn stuff. Ok, some goes on bombs and that, but the way I think about it is that those are paid for by someone else's taxes. I am proud to receive this award, but will be making sure I contribute to the Treasury's funds on account of receiving it - as it is likely to be a taxable benefit"
Runner up was plumber Mark Williams, who showed how he had paid most of his GBP90,000 earnings at the 40% level of income tax. He offered "there is a right and a wrong way of doing things and evading tax is just not on. I am regularly offered chances to buy copper piping and boilers off the back of lorries for the folding stuff, if you get my drift, but then you are only ultimately denying a poor young girl with three kids out of her housing benefit".
The Inland Revenue was asked who was picking up the bill for this prestigious occasion. A spokesman replied "You are".
games :: Sat 5 Jul 15:59 :: Comment / reply
Rewrite: Brickie scoops top award in UK Tax return awards
There was a surprise winner of the Tax Return of the Year Award, in a glamorous ceremony at Claridges Hotel, London, with builder Tim Nolan scooping the top honour.
Mr. Nolan, a brickie from Lewisham, submitted a very well considered return including detailed receipts and quotations for jobs, and successfully calculated his tax due to within 30 pence.
After receiving his trophy and a rebate of GBP10,000 from his 2007 tax assessment, Mr Nolan commented "I faced serious competition this year in the category of 'Employment short version supplementary form SA103S'. Last year's winner was Dave, a van driver from Kent, and he's renowned in our trade for knowing his fiscal onions, I can assure you."
Runner up was plumber Mark Williams, who impressed the panel of tax judges by his excellent fiscal reading of the 'UK company car tax calculator notes' and stylistic execution of the 'UK Property supplementary section SA105'. Speaking after the ceremony Mark highlighted the importance of probity "there is a right and a wrong way of doing things. I am regularly offered chances to buy copper piping and boilers off the back of lorries for the folding stuff, if you get my drift. At the end of the day, you are just denying some single parent her housing benefit".
Lifetime achievement award was this year given to an Insurance middle manager from Croydon. He has submitted his tax return on the very due date for the last ten years and has not made a single error. "I guess I'm a little gifted" he said to assembled reporters "at work I have some noteriaty, actually". There was an honorary mention for Mrs Bradshaw from Nottingham, who even though visually impaired managed to submit her self assessment form on time, albeit with accompanying piece of lightly buttered toast.
The Inland Revenue was asked who was picking up the bill for this prestigious occasion. A spokesman replied "You are" and then added "but it is tax deductible as its a charity event."
suki43 :: Sun 6 Jul 3:16 :: Comment / reply
Very good
and a great punch-line.
I think you could make more of the fact that awards are given for different sections of the self assessment forms: Mr Nolan: the winner of Tax Award category: Self Employment short version supplementary form SA103S. Panel of Tax Assessors impressed by his excellent fiscal reading of the of the company car tax calculator notes and stylistic execution of the UK Property supplementary section SA105.
suki43 :: Sun 6 Jul 2:55 :: Comment / reply