As part of its drive to find new ways to expand having already moved from groceries into clothing, petrol, financial services, mobile phones, homewares and broadband, supermarket giant Tesco has announced that it will be launching its own religion.

Tesco Faith as it will be called features strong values such as freedom from competition watchdogs, automatic forgiveness for shafting suppliers and causing local shops to close down, and humane treatment for all living creatures apart from chickens and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

Tesco Temples will be built next to existing supermarkets so that "worshoppers"(TM) can get their weekly shop after the service on a Sunday.

Tesco Clubcard points will awarded for each service attended, with 5,000 needed to guarantee a place in heaven (or alternatively a trip to LegoLand).

Confessionals will also be held for worshoppers to confess to misdemeanors such as shopping at Asda.

Tesco will also be launching Tesco Faith Finest (you get the best possible accommodation in heaven) and Tesco Value Faith (you can get to heaven but will live in a tent when you get there).

This is not the first time a multi-national has attempted to launch it's own religion. McDonalds launched McFaith last year, but abandoned the project following a riot in one of their restaurants by children unhappy at received a plastic crucifix in their Happy Meals instead of the Shrek they were expecting.

Work will begin on 100 pilot Tesco Temples next month.